April 29, 2013 by anelim
Had a weird dream last night. I was talking to a friend (not sure which one) about nostalgia for home. I tried to explain to her that when I was living in the UK, I was never – “well, hardly ever!” – nostalgic; but that since I’d moved to Germany, I had been overcome by a feeling of rootlessness. I was telling her how I constantly saw vivid, sharp, almost real mental images of places at home; imagined myself walking about in my home city or in the capital; had imagined chats with my family or friends; played with the cat; etc. Nostalgia finally caught up with me, I said – perhaps at a later stage in life compared to some other migrant friends who have studied and lived in other countries; or perhaps it was due to the different way I felt in the UK compared to Germany.
This was odd, because I could just as well have said these things out of a dream – and yet I’m sure I hadn’t, because yesterday I didn’t speak to anyone. I remember my own monologue in surprising detail but I’m not sure in what language it was. Possibly in English because I think phrases such as “nostalgia has finally caught up with me” or “rootlessness” were said in English. But they could have been said in Russian or Bulgarian or even German or French (sometimes I speak German or French in dreams. This means either that I’m imagining it and I’m not really talking German/French; or that my dream vocabulary recall is far better than it is when I’m awake, and I can use all those words that I normally understand passively, but can’t call up in conversation).